Silence and Language Learning

The silent period is a normal, well-documented phase of language learning: your brain is actively absorbing the language before you speak. Rather than fighting it, you can use it to your advantage.

I don't know why, but when I was deciding what my next post would be, the word silence resonated very loudly in my mind (pun intended).

I think I need silence. I need my brain to just be quiet. I try to quiet it during my daily meditations, it doesn't always work. Sometimes it (my brain) listens to me, sometimes it doesn't. When I do my daily yoga, I focus on my breathing and for a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes, I stop thinking and relief washes over me.

I've also noticed that when I learn something new, a few minutes of silence after the "learning" really helps it sink in. That silent pause gives my brain some space to assimilate, to take it in.

We live in a society where we feel we have to fill every moment with some kind of noise. If we talk, we exist.

Did you know that when learning a new language, people (children and adults) go through a "silent period"?

"The silent period is a phase reported to have been observed in second-language acquisition where the learner does not yet speak but is actively processing the second language.", Wikipedia

Naming that period of time, knowing that it's been observed and studied, and knowing it's normal, is wonderful news. It means that instead of being frustrated with ourselves when we're not yet able to speak, we can accept that silence knowing that our brain is actively working for us, we just don't realize it is.

I've had someone tell me once: "But if I don't talk during meetings, they'll think I'm stupid because I have nothing to say." That's a loaded sentence. The type of sentence that I, as a coach, absolutely love.

• We can choose to be silent during a meeting because we simply don't have enough vocabulary, not necessarily because we are embarrassed. The time will come.

• Of course silence can also be because we're embarrassed to talk in front of others. ("Feriel, I can talk with you but not in a meeting.")

• Silence can also be due to the fact that you're an introvert and you don't talk much in general.

How to break that silence?

Coaching can be very useful here. But what if you don't want any coaching or training at the moment? Until you have enough language skills and/or confidence to speak up, use silence to your advantage:

1. Use your silent listening during meetings to really focus on the language.

Instead of being frustrated with yourself, make it an opportunity to learn. Take notes, pay attention to words and expressions.

For example: when I travel to Greece, I can't participate in any conversation. But when my friend Elli engages in conversation with a waiter or neighbor, I listen actively, I'm super focused and try to catch words, expressions, tone of voice.

2. Ask if the meeting can be recorded (Teams/Zoom).

Meetings are often repetitive. A lot of vocabulary is the same from one meeting to the next. You can listen to the different voices, accents, and word repetition afterwards.

3. Ask a more fluent colleague if you can practise together.

I once met a French team leader whose English was very good. He decided to have all his one-on-one meetings in English to help his team members practise. It worked wonders for their confidence, a couple of them worked with me and I saw the difference firsthand.

4. Prepare a few sentences ahead of time.

There are many articles and videos online with phrases you can use to agree or disagree, or to buy time. I worked with a person who focused on "how to disagree politely." He wrote a list of expressions from online articles, we went through them one by one, and at the end he chose 2 sentences that felt natural to him. He had them written down and easy to glance at during meetings.

5. Remember: nobody worthwhile will ever think less of you because you don't speak a second language as well as they speak their first. No one worth your respect will think you are stupid because you can't speak a second language perfectly.

6. Sit in silence for a few minutes before your meeting. Breathe calmly if you feel stress coming on. Breathing slowly will calm your heart rate, you'll feel it in seconds. Everything is going to be OK.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the silent period in language learning?
The silent period is a natural phase observed in both children and adults where the learner doesn't yet speak the language but is actively processing it. It can last from a few weeks to several months depending on exposure and context.

Is it normal to stay silent in meetings when speaking a foreign language?
Yes, completely. Silence in meetings can reflect a lack of vocabulary, an absorption phase, or simply an introverted personality. It's not a sign of failure, it's often a sign that your brain is doing its job.

How can I improve my language skills when I'm too afraid to speak?
Listen actively in meetings, ask to record Teams/Zoom calls, practise with a trusted colleague, and prepare a few go-to phrases in advance. Every small step counts, even the invisible ones.

Can a coach help with speaking blocks in a foreign language?
Yes. Neurolanguage Coaching® works precisely on this kind of block: it combines confidence-building, targeted vocabulary and practice in a judgment-free environment.

Want to explore what's holding your spoken English back? I offer a discovery session, no pressure, no commitment. Book your discovery session here.